Friday, July 29, 2011

Missing You is so hard :(

I have spent so much fun and amazing with my my love. Finland was great. Because i was with him. But now i am back in Estonia, while he's still there..working. I miss him so bad! It was so hard to come home..and it's so hard to be at home. But it's even harder knowing that tomorrow i am going to ballroom dancing camp for two entire weeks. I will probably have hands and legs full of work so i won't have much time to miss him (I hope, but i know its not true..i miss him every second no matter what i am doing or who i am with:|). I'll start counting days till the camp ends and i can go to Finland to see my man. I really really really miss him so bad! I hope it'll get easier, but right now i can hardly breathe. I know that i must be lucky to have someone to miss. And i am, i truly am! And i shouldnt be so sad coz i know our reconnection will be so special! I feel so blessed that i have so amazing man in my life! I love him with my whole heart! I am going to enjoy this camp for both of us and i'll give my best to do a great job there! Coz i know he's doing so hard work in Finland.
I love You, J!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Summer list '11

I just realized that i still haven't made a list of summer, even though it's midsummer already. So, i think it's the last time to work with it!

So, this summer, 2011, I
WANT to :

* swim a lot
* get a nice tan
* shop in H&M before school starts
* spend A LOTTTT of time with my love, J
* have a few changes before September (can't specify right now)
* eat a lot of fruits!!
* read "The Gift" and "If you could see me now" by Cecelia Ahern
* have a super fun time at dancing camp
* have a very special 1st year anniversary celebration with J



I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm off to Finland again! Yay! I'll see my sweetheart! He has a weekend off so that's extra cool ;)
I am so bored at home, here's nothing to do. (Well, that's not completely true, but i always like being with J). He's coming to Helsinki and then we'll go back to Hyvinkää by train! :) I must take a book and my iPod with me coz it's a 2,5 hours ride by boat..and I'm alone, no-one to talk to. So, i must entertain myself. Lol.
Okay, i am going to read Seventeen magazine now :)


Monday, July 18, 2011

so lost

Sorry accepted. Thanks, sweetheart! :)

A Place Called Here. I have lost two things.. or no actually.I didn't lost them. They just GOT lost :/ Just like that. A Place Called Here. A place where the lost things go. Do you know there's an entire city built up by the lost things. Yeah, i read about it from a book "A Place Called Here" written by Cecelia Ahern. I absolutely love that book. After that i didn't look for my lost things so hard. I knew they were somewhere... maybe in another world. So, they had a new place, a new owner.
But now being a realist again, my ice-cream "lost". But i just found out my sis ate it (although she denied it at first, many times!) So, one lost thing found.
But i also lost a free boat ticket to Finland :/ That's a bad loss. I have looked for it everywhere, so have my mom and my sis. I also asked my dad about it. And my older sis (who even don't live with us anymore). I am going nuts. I don't understand where it is. It doesn't have feet to walk a away whenever it wants, does it? But it's gone. Damn.
So, no free ticket. I had to buy tickets now. It was a loss of money. But at least i knew where it went and i got something for it. I suppose we loose something every day, but the difference is whether we loose it on purpose or accidentally. Second one sucks!

Okay, enough of that crazy talk. I am waiting for J to have a little late night chat and then I'm ready to sleep ( can't say I'm off to bed then coz i already are on my bed). I hope I'll have better dreams this night than i had last night!



Sunday, July 17, 2011


I am sorry

I feel sick in my stomach. I keep saying it's not my fault, but i know it is. I blame me, and no-one else. And it makes me feel so sad. I always ruin everything. I would do anything to change that. But i can't.
I am so sorry, i really am!

Please, let the things go okay. For him! He deserves the best!

Saturday, July 16, 2011


Alone again. For few days. I can't wait to be with J again. I know we just said goodbye about 1,5 hours ago, but i already miss him. He had to go to Finland to work :( And i had to stay here..but just for few days. I guess i'll go to Finland on Wednesday or Thursday. And i'll stay there for about 5-6 days. Then i must be back and ready for 2 weeks dancing camp. I'm excited about it, but it means i can't see J. But well, it's not the end of the world! At least i have someone to miss! :D And when i come back it's 13th August, our 1 year anniversary, but he's still working at that day. And he'll come back home on 16th. It's also my sister and granny's birthday!
PS! My sis is going to have a baby boy! Yay! So cool :) They wanted a boy and they will get it! Now they are trying to figure out how to name the little guy..thankfully they have time enough to think;)

Okay. I'm going to watch Switched at Birth :)

Mom's birthday!

Hey, good afternoon. It's July, 16th. My mom's 45th birthday! We gave been doing preparations for party since morning. And seems that everything is ready now. The guests should arrive in 15 minutes ;) Nice! Thankfully the weather turned out to be sunny so we are having a garden party!=)


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

11 months

It's me and J's 11 months anniversary :) I made a cake for him and he surprised me with three red roses and chocolate!!! And we had a dinner with my sis and her husband. And later men went to sauna and then we had some drinks to celebrate LOVE! :) It was a very nice day. I totally enjoyed it! I also saw a doctor today, it went fine.
We are going to Tallinn tomorrow. And then back on Friday.
Did i mention that my very good friend Candis emailed me. We hadn't talked for 2 years because of her university studies. She wasn't able to use Internet and her myspace website didn't work (she's from China). So, i had no contact with her. But now the myspace started working for her and she contacted me. We have been emailing each other every day! O'boy i missed her!
Anyway, i am going to watch Modern Family and maybe read a book. I bought a new book by Cecelia Ahern, it's called "Thanks for the Memories".
Oh and a reallllly great news. I found my fav perfume "Wrapped With Love" (by H.Duff). I had been looking for it for soo long, but it was sold out. But now i got the last one! Yay! I still want "With Love" so so so so much! And i can't wait to read "The Gift" by C.Ahern either. These are the two "wants" i have right now. lol.



Sunday, July 10, 2011


Back in Estonia. Missing my other half. Luckily i'll see him tomorrow :) Can't wait!


Saturday, July 2, 2011

in Finland :)

Whoe! Finally in Finland. The weather is HOT-HOT-HOT!!! We arrived yesterday. First we shopped in Helsinki! Of courseee :D Mostly in H&M! I just love that shop! Anyway, i got some cute and pretty stuff! ;) After shopping we went to Hyvinkää to my dad's place. We had a lunch and then i met J. He's also inHyvinkää ;) So, me, J and his two friends went to one rly cool swimming place. It's a lake beach! The water in the lake was sooo warm! It was rly fun to swim! Then we came to J's place, i cooked dinner for us (Gnocchi pasta with tomato pesto!mmm:)). And i stayed over at his place. In the morning i went to dad's place to have a breakfast and then we went to the East Center, to the shops again! :D It was funnn! When we drove back we saw J on the way and we stopped the car so i could go out. I went to J's place with him and then we went to my dad's to have a lunch and then we all went to swim! We went to the same place as i went with J and his friends yesterday. This time J wanted me to jump to the water. It was crazy scary, but i did it. Well, first time he just hold me and jumped with me (he told me he fell:/ Liar!). But whatever, i really liked it :D Hihi!
After swimming and joking and laughing and getting some sun we went back at home. Dad and my sis went to dad's place and J and i came to J's place. I made dinner for us and now J's sleeping and i'm blogging. He is so tired. I feel so sorry for him! I hope he can rest a lot!!! Oh, and big news. I won't leave back to Estonia tomorrow. I decided today that i wanna stay longer coz J is here and i have nothing special to do at home in Estonia anyway. And dad likes having me here! lol. So, i'll stay here till Friday. Then me and dad can go to Estonia together of Friday night after his work :)

Anyway, i think i am going to bed next to J now.
Night! =)