Sunday, April 29, 2012

what is love?

It's Sunday morning. Gosh, how long I have been waiting for that day to come! I woke up 7am already..anxious and excited that it's Sunday! Yeah, but I still tried to keep sleeping. I told myself that the longer I sleep the less I must wait for clock to turn 11:30am. It's the time I am planning to start walking toward the harbor. I am going to walk for an hour because Jay's ship arrives at 12:30pm. Sooo, I must walk veryyy slowly!!! But I just can't sit at home and wait...I need to do something. And I miss him soooo much and seriously, I am soo hyper right now if I think that in 1,5 hours we will be together!
Oh, perfect! I am wating Glee (more like listening) and there came me and Jay's song, "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars. Beautiful!

So, what is love? It's thinking of someone constantly, even when you are asleep. It's having a smile on your face whenever you hear his name. It's the forever lasting butterflies on your stomach when you are with him or thinking of him! It's the knowing that whenever you have a fight you always end up kissing. It's something that you never thought could happen to you. It's what all romantic novels write about and much more! It's true and pure happiness! It's life!

Saturday, April 28, 2012


I cannot wait for tomorrow! I will see my Prince. I am so grateful to have him in my life!

Friday, April 27, 2012

2 more days

Two more days till I can be with you!

Thursday, April 26, 2012


I found this cool photo of these awesome mugs! I wish Jay and I had the same ones!

short thoughts

Geez, excited me. Why? Because I am always happy and excited after I got to talk to Jay. I love how we get to talk on skype every day! I just cannot wait till Sunday arrives. I think of it all the time. I really miss him! When we talk on skype I always have so many news (or just boring things) to say and I talk and talk and talk. But he seems to like it. Lol. He said he really wants something good to eat when he comes back home. So, we might go have a lunch out or I will see how it goes. But I know that when Jay is home, everything is special. My Angel will be with me!:) My sweetheart!

Yes! True love lasts forever!


I want, I want, I want!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I'm sorry for being weak

The longer I have been away from you, the weaker I get.
I am sorry! I wish I could be stronger. I wish I could hide my feelings and emotions. But I can't. That's how it is. That's who I am.
I try, but I may still fail. But in one thing I will never fail - in loving you. I love you deeply and madly! Always and forever!



It was such a sunny day today!
The morning was nice coz Jay called me and asked me to go to skype. It was 9.30am. He was up all night and wanted to talk to me before he finally went to bed. So, it was so good to see him! :) I really hope we can talk today too before he goes to work.
I went for a walk today coz it was so nice weather. It was so warm, to be correct! I went to the library and then got the photos from a photoshop. I also spent some time at the bookstore. It was nice, but I seriously can't wait for Jay to come home coz I want to spend time with HIM! I'm literally counting the hours!
Oh, I really want to just be with Jay and laugh, talk, smile, and do fun things with him! Cuddle with him! Ohhh...

I am craving for something fresh and good...


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

words hurt

Words hurt.

Am I really that bad person?

Monday, April 23, 2012

that someone

I never thought there could be someone who always knows the right things to say. Someone who makes me truly happy. Someone who cares for me. Someone who makes me laugh even when I am sad. Like I said, someone who always knows the right things to say. But Jay knows. He is that special someone! I am sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I miss him. Happy because when he talks to me he makes me feel so special and loved. He says the right things and I know that our relationship is the best thing in both of our lives! I can't wait for the Sunday to come already!


dreamy morning

When I woke up today morning I was too lazy to get some food. I actually just didn't know what I want to eat. So I thought that I would LOVE to get a breakfast in bed. A surprise breakfast. The one that really surprises me. I am sleeping and BAM my finacee says: "wake up, I made you breakfast"! Oh, I wish! Hehe! I hate waking up, going to the fidge and thinking what to eat... There's nothing I want. So, a breakfast in bed once in a while wouldn't hurt! :)

Sunday, April 22, 2012


It's such a beautiful day today! Sun is shining and it's so warm outside. I went rollerskating and it was fun, but I still don't like rollerskating alone so much. i really hope Jay will buy himself rollerskates too, then we can go rollerskating together :)
When I was outside I thought of two things I would like to do: go to a zoo and go for a walk to the Old Town and buy some toasted sweet almonds. I hope that when Jay is coming home weather will be just as great and we can spend some time outside enjoying the weather and each other :)
I miss him a lot. I know there's only one week left till he comes home, but it is still so hard! I hate that we have to be away from each other so much. Jay said we must find me something to do while he's a way coz I become so sad and I miss him a lot. But no matter what I would do, he's still in my mind every second every day. And I miss him a lot! Nothing can change that! I want him here!!!! But I know that if he comes home I'll be sooo happy and we'll have so great time together! I cannot wait! :)


Michael Buble concert

Wow! So, yesterday was the concert, and it was AMAZING! I just can't believe my luck!
First of all, my sis and I went to our seats. We were sitting quite back and at the higest floor. And suddenly one guy came to us and asked if we were together, just the two of us. I said yes. And he asked us to go with him.. he lead a way down the stairs and told that he hopes we don't mind sitting a bit closer to Michael. We said: of course not! So, when we got to the bottom floor, the lights had gone off and the warm-up band was about to come to the stage. He lead us closer and closer to the stage. I thinking: how close he's taking us?!:O And then he showed us our seats. It was soooo close to the stage. I think it was the 5th row. It was really close! And he gave us the new tickets too. These were with invatation. The guy was an angel. He was from Michael crew, he was american :) And super sweet! We were so lucky that we got new and way better and more expensive seats! Then started the warm-up band Naturally 7. They sing a capella and they were soo good. After their performace a old man next to me asked if i enjoyed the show and if i had heard about Naturally 7 before. I told him that I listened to their music on youtube before the show. He said he's the father of the two youngest band member!!!
He later talked to me more when Michael was peforming already!
When Michael came to the stage, I was in heaven! He started singing and after that he talked...a LOT! He made like million jokes. He has such a good humor! Seriously, he just kept talking and talking, and we kept laughing and laughing! And of course, he's so cute! And what an amazing singing coice he has! Wow!
He joked about us being nuns coz everybody were sitting and not standing and dancing. So, some ppl started dancing and eventually I told Anni too that let's go dancing! So we did! And then I saw Michael was coming off the stage. I crabbed Anni's hand and made us way to the way were Michael was walking. And we got next to him and we got to touch him!!!Not just once, but many times! And he seemed so short!
Then there were huge white balls on the air and ppl pushed them and they were flying around the whole place. I got to push the ball too :)
The show was so incrideable because Michael was so down to earth. He really connected to his audience and he didn't mind if one woman went to the stage to hug him, and he took someone video cam and filmed himself and other band members and so on.. He did many things that made us feel even more closer to him!
He also said that some artists in USA has been telling him for years to go to Estonia coz it's such a beautiful place and there are the prettiest woman on Earth! He said we are so hot and also tall - the perfection (this is what he said!).
Of course he sang a lot. Really a lot. So many songs and the whole concert was so complete! Amazing! In the end he sang without a microphone, asking us to be really quiet. His voice is so powerful!
It was a really great night! It would have been even more better if Jay was there. That's why I want to go to another concert with him. Hopefully Lady Gaga! :D

Waiting for Michael Buble!

And here he is!!!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

saturday morning

Morning folks! I woke up 10.15am and I was so scared. I saw a nightmare. I was breathing so hard and tears were falling from my eyes. I wish Jay was here! Oh, but it was only a nightmare!
I just read some news and there was something about gossiping at work..and on that news was written a sentence "who wants chocolate, guys?". I said: I DO! And so I am eating chocolate now.
Well, I took a shower and I am waiting for my hair to get dry coz I want to go to the library to bring back huge pile of books that I borrowed on Thursday. As you can imagine I am a were quick reader. LOL :D haha.
My sis is coming over tonight and we are going to see Michael Buble concert ;) Cannot wait!
The weather is so stupid over here. It started raining yesterday and I think it was raining whole night. I want sun!!!! I hope when Jay comes home next Sunday the weather will be really beautiful again!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Love You, Jay!

Love Letters


"We make realities out of our dreams and dreams out of our realities. We are the dreamers of the dream." Roald Dahl


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

recent update

When Jay came home, everything was so great! Even when I had to be in university, I knew he's at home and that I could see him soon. We really had a nice quality time together. Weather was nice too, so it gave us both good energy!
On Saturday after my uni, we had a big shopping evening. It was fun! :) We got bunch of things that we nheeded for home and for ourselves.
On Sunday we went for a long walk. It was so nice. The weather was warm and it was sunny. We walked at Old Town, looked around here and there. Then we had lunch at Lido and walked back home. We had so much fun while walking back. I have such a jokey and funny fiancee :D I love him!
That night we got a call from Jay's brother who said he was at amusement park. We decided to go too. The first ride we took was pretty scary, but there were two that were even more scarier. But we didn't risk on going for a ride with these. Maybe next time. Anyway, Jay won me a big flower and a teddy-bear. It was so much fun! I hope we'll go there soon again! Maybe next time Jay comes home?!
On Monday we spent the whole day inside. The weather had changed and it was raining. We cooked a dinner together and watched the movie "The Vow". It was a really nice evening!
And on Tuesday I went to uni and then I came home and after few hours Jay had to leave back to Finland.
It is always so hard to say goodbye and realize that I am all alone again. I am counting days till my Prince is coming back. It is so hard to be away from him. But I know he's always coming back. And we talk on skype every day, so that keeps me going. I cannot wait to be with Jay again! He makes all my days so amazing! He is the BEST!
My One and Only!

life in photos

My class at my internship!

Little Jonathan!

I love it, I love my home!

Basilic is my this spring fav!

Fun game night with Jay :)

I made this on my birthday morning!


Beautiful day for a walk!

It was so nice to walk with Jay! We had so much fun!!! 

Jay and I made lasagna together! And then we had a beautiful dinner with red wine.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

So much love

I dont want the whole world the sun and moon and all their light I just wanna be the only girl you love all your life.

And I know I am. Gosh, I have been waiting for tomorrow sooo much! I get excited by every minute that passes and that brings me closer to see my fiancee. I miss Jay a lot. I even don't know why. Who understands love? Huh? It just makes me crazy! Jay makes me crazier!

I have been doing an many activities as possible for the time to pass quicker. I cleaned the whole apartment, I went to a shop by foot, I watched three episodes of Make It Or Break It. I ate. Lol. I am going to meet my sister soon. I am thinking of walking there, not taking a bus. But my one leg hurts a lot, so I am not sure yet. When I come back I will workout a bit, watch tv, read and hopefully night will come quick and then morning and then I have a busy day at work and university. And when I finally get home, Jay will be waiting for me! :D Cannot wait! Loveeeee!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I have been really productive today. First of all, I washed my bedroom windows and then I went to the library and then rollerskating! It was fun, but I wish Jay was with me. It would have been way cooler then. When i rollerskate alone I think, but if Jay was with me I could TALK! I love talking.
Anyway, just when I started rollerskating Jay called me. He wanted to chat on skype, but I wasnt at home. I felt so bad. I actually waited from him on skype the whole morning. I hope we can chat later tonight. i really miss him and I want to see him!!!
The weather is absolutely great here. Snow has melted and it's so dry and it's getting warmer day by day! I was wearing my converse today and a jacket. It felt so good :D
Oh how I am waiting for Friday! I have to go to university on Friday and Saturday though, but at least I know Jay is at home waiting for me! :)
I am going to watch my fav tv shows and hopefully I manage to read a bit later.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

22nd year!

I cannot believe. I am 22 y.o now. But it is just a number. Don't know how much it changes my everyday life.
My birthday was very very awesome! First of all, my finace is with golden heart! He's so special. He went to the shop at night before my birthday to make me surprise. He didn't want me to see him buying a cake and candy box. It was a total surprise in the morning! He sang and I got to eat blueberry pie :) Nice! He gave me a hangbag for my birthday and the eyes laser operation.
In university my sweet sweet friends wished me happy birthday and gave me a very great gift. It came out of blue - such a surprise! I got 6 wine glasses, chocolate and flowers! :) They are just so sweet! After the class we ate a cake I made and took photos:)
After that Jay and I went home (coz the gift was so big and the flowers needed water). Then we went to meet Anni and her friends on McDonalds. I gave Anni her birthday present and she gave me a birthday present too (we hear the same birthday, tho she's 4 years older - she turned 18!). Jay and I went to have a dinner and then we went to the movies. We watched Hunger Games. It was such a good movie! I really liked it :) After the movies we came home, it was 9.30pm already. I made myself a fruit salad (banana, strawberries and kiwi!). Later at night we went to Kohila with my mom and dad. And next morning we all started cooking. We had a birthday party with family and relatives. It was very nice I got mostly money for my birthday! Oh, mom and dad gave me Michael Buble concert ticket and also a toaster :D So great!
From my besty Elisa I got a super cute PJ for my birthday! I really love it! So, all the gifts I got are very practical and I love it! Thanks!
So, it's 7th April now and Jay and I came to Tallinn today. We decided to stay at home the whole day today! It's not a very nice spring weather outside - it is snowing!
I will post some photos later when I get them from my friend and my sis.

Monday, April 2, 2012

a good week!

It is Monday, but I have the feeling that this week will be awesome! I haven't been able to blog for a week because last Monday I went to the eyes laser surgery. It was Jay's birthday present for me. The surgery was good, I didn't feel a thing. I have been taking million medicines and eyedrops every day for the last week. And I continue taking them for 8 weeks! But my eye vision is getting better day by day! And now I can use Internet again and read and write and watch tv! But my eyes get tired very quickly and then I can't see very well and it's foggy. Then I just have to let my eyes get some rest!
I went to Kohila to my parents' house last Thursday because I needed company. I couldnt watch tv or read and I was really bored. In Kohila I at least had someone to talk to:)
But I came back to Tallinn yesterday. Today I went to the eye laster center to control my eyes vision and they removed the contact lenses that I had to wear a week. When I was walking back at home, I totally enjoyed the walk...I looked around and I saw everything so clear! It felt so good. Freedom!
So, it is my birthday week! Yayyy! Jay is coming home on Wednesday morning! I cannot wait! I really miss him and I just want to hug him and see his beautiful face!
I made a painting today for Anni's birthday. Tomorrow after university class I am going to clean my apartment and then later I will meet Anni.
I have got some birthday presents already. The biggest and the greatest from Jay - eyes laser surgery! From my besty Elisa I got super cute/sexy pijama! :D And from my other friend I got some UK chocolate and really pretty nail polish by my fav brand (Rimmel London). I already know what I am getting from my parents - Michael Buble concert ticket! :)
On Friday Jay and I are going to Kohila and my grandparents and family will have a birthday lunch! :)
Last week was amazing spring weather, no snow, sun was shining. But last night started snowing! It sucks. Although seems winter is back, I am still enjoying this week!