If I Stay

I know i mentioned in one of my earlier blog posts that i found this book If I Stay, written by Gayle Forman. I'll paste here the brief intro of the book.

'Just listen,' Adam says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel. I open my eyes wide now. I sit up as much as I can. And I listen. 'Stay,' he says. Everybody has to make choices. Some might break you. For seventeen-year-old Mia, surrounded by a wonderful family, friends and a gorgeous boyfriend decisions might seem tough, but they're all about a future full of music and love, a future that's brimming with hope. But life can change in an instant. A cold February morning ...a snowy road ...and suddenly all of Mia's choices are gone. Except one. As alone as she'll ever be, Mia must make the most difficult choice of all. Gripping, heartrending and ultimately life-affirming, "If I Stay" will make you appreciate all that you have, all that you've lost - and all that might be.

I think it sounds so good!=]

i dare..

"It is the possibility that keeps me going, and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible."


I wrote a list of things i wanna do before i die. I got this idea from Miley Cyrus' book "Miles To Go". It's a really inspiring book in many ways..

The list isn't complete yet, but here are few things:

1. Meet Miley Cyrus
2. Go parasailing
3. Swim in the ocean
4. Write a book
5. Go surfing
6. Go to Mexico and meet my besty Elisa
7. Travel through CA
8. Go to Rome&Dana Point
9. Name my first daughter Clara
10. Get married in the church and have a big white wedding
11. Ride a horse
12. Get Nicholas Sparks autograph into "The Last Song" book
13. Have my own perfume coming out
14. Swim with dolphins
15. Read a book in Spanish
16. Learn how to play guitar


These are just few of what i dream to do one day...
Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Sunny Day

Yesterday was Eurovision final. I must admit that this year were all songs pretty good. First my fav were Belgium and Cyprus. And i also liked Armenia and Azerbaijan. But as i was watching the show last night and listening to all the songs once again.. My biggest fav turned out to be Germany. I hadn't heard that before at all...since last night of course. It was my absolute favorite! It's performer Lena has btw Estonian blood coz her grandpa is totally Estonian. Anyway, im really happy that she WON! Yup, Germany won!Whoooee(:

Today i watched Eurovision again.. i just love it! The whole show. I think its something incredible that the whole Europe has one big concert. It somehow links everybody together for that one night!And hopefully longer..

Dad went to Finland already. We are planning to go on 19th June. Anni needs a graduation dress;) And we all actually wanna shop!!!

Have i mentioned how much i love Seventeen magazine?! Today i was sorting through the old copies and i just forgot myself and was looking the fashion pages, reading articles that i hadn't read for some reason, looking healthy tips ect.. and i love workout exercises!(:
And book/movie/CD reviews are already cool too! One book caught my eye: "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman. The story-line sounded so good. I think im going to order this book. It's a good summer read at the beach!
A little time ago i came back from the food shop with my sis. And now im going to make my fav fresh and healthy vegan salad.

Xo.

0:12

A lot.

eurovision emotions..

The second semifinal of Eurovision 2010 just ended. I hold my fingers for Cyprus. And it made itself to the final! Yay! For some reason fans bet that Sweden would win this whole thingy, but it didnt even get to the final. First i didn't understand why Sweden was so special.. To be honest i hadnt listened to the whole song. But just a few minutes ago i listened it from youtube and i must say i like that song too ;) But now its too late. We are not gonna see Sweden in the final.
Im too tired to write about today's funny/embarrasing actions! :| Perhaps i'll write about it tomorrow.

Right now i just want to sleep!

PS! Last night i didn't see a nightmare. I saw a weird dream though. But not a nightmare. It's a progress. Wow!

There is only one thing people like that is good for them: a good-night's sleep.

iLoVeLiFe

Yesterday was pretty much insane. Not sure why though. I didn't have to do anything(except the things in my to-do-list). I won't go into details i guess. The woman called and told she doesn't need me to babysit her son right now because she didn't get the job she wanted for the summer. So she can stay home with her son. But she told she might need me later on this summer. Hopefully!
So, yesterday i was pretty much in thoughts. I had some things to make clear for myself. And im pretty satisfied now..

I'd learned that some things are best kept secret.
You always have a choice. It's just that some people make the wrong one.

I hope i did the right one..

Yesterday there was this show on tv that was about people giving away their pets.. It was so sad. I could never imagine giving away my dog or cats. They are my family!!! You don't give away your child, how can you give away your dog?! Okay, i understand that if it really depends on your health or your pet's health... But we should all remember that pets has a feelings too..they are sad too if they are just given away!
I got Bonnie from one family who just gave her away. It's sad, but im so glad we got Bonnie! She's my sweetheart, my best friend! She's so deep in my heart!!Love my doggy!=)

So, this tv show made me think of the value of our family, friends, pets and who ever we love. Usually people notice it when it's too late.
I think of it quite often and i feel so blessed to have so amazing people around me. I try to show out and tell that as much as possible. You may think your mom knows how much you love her..but if you don't show it or don't say it, she may now how MUCH you really care.
I remember when my dog Ronni was alive i always came home from school almost running because i missed my dog. And she was jumping and so happy to see me! And every day i told her HOW MUCH i loved her. I kept telling it all the time. I just needed her to know how special she was for me. And if they tragedy happened and she died i felt good that i had told her that. AT least i knew she had known that she meant a world to me! And now she lives in the memories and she'll never be forgotten!
It was Dave Benton who taught me that! I remember the first day of 10th grade. He was in the church performing and he said that we must value al we have and never take it granted. that change my few of the life. So, since that day i made sure everybody who i loved knew that! :)
My best friend Clara was also one important change in my life. She taught me what a real friendship was, a true friendship. She taught me so much! And i'll never forget that! Most of all, she taught me to be strong even if it's hardest thing to do. She taught me to believe in myself, to have a faith and to never loose it.

"Sometimes you have to be a part from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more."

life.

"Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that."


"I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell."
(The Last Song)

little.

Needed to write my feelings down..

Disappointed

Disappointed that everything I dreamt

Got crashed down

Disappointed that my hopes

Got fallen around

Disappointed that promises

Aren’t always true

Disappointed that life’s

Struggles to get through

Disappointed in myself

That my hopes very too high

Disappointed that everything

Was a big lie

Disappointed how easily

One moment can change it all

Disappointed how quickly

Big dreams got so small

And another poem i wrote this morning..

So low

May the rain come
and wash your sin
I don't wanna be numb
and let you win
How lucky you are
to come and go
So easily you broke my heart
It was such a blow
What I've left is a chance and faith
is it worth givin'
or is it too late
Forgiving once, forgiving twice
all you say is somehow concise
It's needless to say
that I still care
but since days have been so gray
I don't dare

to go on solo
'cause you went so low.

=]

Morning!!! I felt like coming here in the morning because usually i post blogs in the evenings or before i go to bed..
It's weird that now as i don't have uni anymore i don't know what to do. I can sleep as long and i want and stay up asl long as i want without worrying that i might not get up in the morning.
I've actually made a list of things that i need to do today:

*Sort through children activities and games for the ranch job. I'm gonna help children bday parties!
*Learn some Spanish
*Watch Victorious
*Wait for the phone call from that woman who MAYBE wants me to babysit her child
*Post a video on youtube
*Read The Last Song (i never get enough of reading that book!)
*Clean my room
*Workout a bit
*Upload some pix to twitpic from my phone

So, not many plans. But at least i have something to do. Lol! Happy Wednesday=]
I'll check my to-do-list later on..

Like the blog says I'm a big dreamer..that's why i really like quotes of dreams:P

Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.

all good things come to an end..

All good things come to an end... but then there's another start again :)
The first year of university is officially over for me. Emotions? I'm proud of myself. And im definitely happy for everything that happened in that first year! Especially im super thankful that i got soooo amazing friends there; Im beyond words! They are extraordinary. I never imagined having so much fun in uni. My MegaSixPack has made my first year just wonderful!
So, it's a bit sad that a long summer is ahead. But that doesn't matter i won't see my chicks! Gerli's 20th birthday is coming up soon;) Whooee!

Today i had a phone call from that job interview guy. He said i got the job. But im still waiting the call from that woman who MAYBE wants me to babysit her child this summer. I hate waiting. I can't make any plans until i know what opportunities i have. Let's hope she'll call tomorrow ;)
Mom told that one woman called me today. She probs wants me to help her out with her dancing class student's spring concert. I was helping her last year too. It was so much fun! So, im waiting for her call too just to say her that i would love to help (: Besides, i'll earn some money ;)

Today is Eurovision Song Contest ;) Fingers crossed for Estonia that we'll get to the final;) Please?!=)
Im going to watch Victorious soon and then it's Eurovision time!!!

Quote of the day:

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

trying to be positive!

Today started out very bad. First of all, i saw SO many nightmares..well, more like thrillers. It really felt like i was watching movies all night long and of course when my alarm rang at 7:30pm then i was still so tired! And secondly, the weather SUCKED! It was rainy, cloudy and dark. Everybody who knows me, knows that my mood depends on the weather. So, i wasn't really happy today! ALTHOUGH, i haven't laughed as much as i did today, for soo long. Seriously i laughed so hard that my stomach hurt! My uni besties just make me laugh!:D
But today i also had a job interview which went very well. Thank God i had a better mood by that time!Lol.
The exam that i took was also okay. After the exam our megasixpack was waiting for Jaana. She had English oral exam. Later we went to have a lunch together! And then i was off on a train to Kohila, went to my mom's work, came home with her and had a dinner. I ate too much. I blame the bad weather and the tiredness! Im just SO tired! It's 8pm, but feels like midnight:S
I hope this night will be better!=)



''Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.''

- Princess Diana

inspiration!

It's gonna be short and quick blog coz its 23:23(make a wish!). I need to wake up 7:30m.
Just wanted to say that i watched Julia&Julie with my mommy and gosh it was so inspiring movie! I seriously think i should have a blog like Julie did, tho i don't cook. Lol!

Anyway, from now on i'll post here every day a quote, saying, lyrics or something that speaks to me and is important to me some how (:



Imagination is not a talent of some people, but it's the health of every person!

Out of luck and out of tune
Half a day and night confused
Love may wash away the blues
But I still ain't over you

Damn the day that I forgot
Came so close and almost lost
It's been one year and fourteen months
But I still ain't over you

Hey, I'm the blood in your veins
I'm the cold when it rains
I'm your heart when it breaks
Time, no it ain't on our side
I'm the truth to your lie
I'm your tear when you cry

Back and forth and side to side
Right ain't wrong if wrong ain't right
Well I will love you day and night
'Cause I still ain't over you

When the walls come crashing in
When the flames come closer then
Just remember time and again
I still ain't over you

i can't be changed...

So, don't call me NAIVE! I've just learned how to forgive...and trust again.

More than anything i wanna fly, i wanna drive, i wanna go...wanna be a part of something i don't know...

so summer-ish! (:

For some reason i haven't written here very much lately. That's probs coz i love writing to my notebook way more:P But that's not that important, is it?!
What's important is that it's kinda like HOLIDAY! YUP! summer holiday! And it's rly hot! I just love it!
Yesterday was a crazy day. I can't write abt everything, but it was crazy! After the craziness i went shopping ;) Bought all i needed.
Today was fun too. First, to Tallinn with my sis; few hours in uni with my gals(who i btw adore!my megasixpack!!!<3). And then i went to meet mom&dad&sis. Oh yeah, my shoes were giving me an headache:S They caused so much pain. But, i survived so i won't whine! Anywho, i walked on CityHall(Linnahall) roof. I wished i had time to just lay down and sunbath there. Lol. Well, but i didnt. So, instead me went shopping. We are gonna have a BBQ tomorrow:) Yay! At home i of course logged on fb and aww Elisa made my day! This girl just knows how to make me happy! No wonder she's my BEST friend!:) Sometimes i forgot how far she lives! But i know distance doesnt count in a friendship!She is and will forever be my best friend<3 I feel so blessed i met her.

Talking about friends. I talked to my sis the other day. We were just talking about old times..and she asked something about Clara. And when i told that this summer it'll be 4 years since she passed away, then she said that 3 years. I was like what? How? But then i started calculating and she was right. I felt SO bad! I think abt C every day! She was the bestest girl i have EVER met! And i will NEVER forget her! But i miss her soo bad. I feel like time is flying by so fast and that its such a long time since we last talked..for some reason i thought it was 4 years..but comes out that 3. Gosh, i miss my baby! I wish she was still here. I have had million moments when i needed to talk to her. But every time i need her i remember wt she last told me: "Sandra, remember i'll never ever leave you. I'll always be with you. Im looking after you. Im your butterfly!". And i know she meant it. I feel her with me every single day. She's in my heart, in my thoughts and in my sole. I wouldn't be that girl who i am without her. She has helped me sooo much! She was and will forever be my rock! I love you, C!





<3

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.

So what takes my breath away??.. Today morning it was Miley's new music video Can't Be Tamed ! ! !
I would post the vid here, but it's not on youtube yet. So, instead of the vid, i'll put here a pic of the vid.

"For those who don't know me, I can get a bit crazy."

Can't Be Tamed

Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus <3 I love that song!