Dark autumn :/

Oh! I don't know what's wrong with me! I have a good life, the best man next to me. But i am still sad. I think it's because of the darkness of autumn. Of course i feel a bit lonely because J isn't here. But we talk every day on skype! It makes me happy. But still, i must get over this bad/sad mood. I need energy and i want to smile just like most of the time i do. I sometimes think too much and it makes me sad. But i forgot to appreciate what i have. I am sorry. Because deep in my heart i am the most happiest girl on planet, because i have J in my life!!! I can't wait till 19th October when he's coming home. It'll be so special day for me because this time i am missing him more than i have ever done and i sooooo want to see him and be with him already!!!!!!

Okay, my promise for this dark and rainy autumn: I wake up with a big smile on my face and i'll keep it on my face the whole day. And i promise to find something optimistic from every bad situation. I promise to be happy and positive like i used to be. :)

Mister Chuck

I took Mister Chuck home today! He's adorable. Everything is very new for him so he's walking around and he's so curious. He also slept for a long time and now he's full of energy. It's 10:45pm and to be honest i would like to go to bed soon. But i am not sure he's letting me sleep. We'll see :P

I talked to J on skype before and he saw our little Chuck too :) J seemed to like him a lot. It makes me so happy! It's our little kitten :)

sooo cute!

I went to visit the kittens. They were soooo cute! And you have no idea how small they were. So small! Of course i had to choose one which i would like to take home with me on Friday. It was so hard. But i chose the one that i saw first, he was different coz he was sitting on a cat-tree and just looking at me when i first stepped in. The owner said he's the one who likes to be on your lap a lot and wants to be be hold a lot. He also wants to come to your bed at night. Perfect for me when i am alone. I justhope i can give him the best home possible! By the way, he doesn't have a name yet. I need to talk to J and decide how we are going to call our little kitten :)

That's our cutie!

You are the reason I smile!

Oh i just have to write here. I need to share my happiness with someone. I am sooo happy! :) I just am. So so happy! I am shining and smiling and oh i want everybody to know how happy i am! And there's only one reason for that. One amazing, caring, handsome, tall, cute and loving reason - Jay! He's my everything. My reason to be who i am. I smile every time i think of him. I dream of him every day and night! It's so hard to be away from him, but it's better than not having him in my life at all. I am counting days till he's coming back home! I need him! Love, oh, love. It's a beautiful feeling. He is the love of my life and makes my life perfect! I have never been happier than i am right now. I am so grateful for what i have!

Just a little reminder...

I hope you know that You are the BEST! I have nothing to regret. I love everything you have given me. Everything you have done for me. You have made my dreams come true. Don't you ever forget that you mean everything to me!

I wish...

I wish there were Santa Clauses in autumn too, because i have a wish!

A kitten.

I saw today on facebook that very cute kittens are looking for home and i can't stop thinking about them!

J knows i want a kitten, so i really really really hope he'll let me get one! It'll make me and the kitten so happy! :)

Isn't she/he adorable! Only 5 weeks old! Poor kitten was left alone with his/her siblings.

We make magic!

The weather was so beautiful on last weekend. Sun was shining and it was warm. But it started raining again last night. For some reason, i don't mind. I like autumn. I like it's getting colder and darker. I like to stay at home, drink hot tea, light some candles and listen to good music. Home is the best place to be when it's a dark and cold autumn night! Especially when it's raining.

It's weird that i have been living in the apartment about a month, but it already feels so comfortable and right place for me! I only with J was here! Then i would be completely happy!

But knowing that he's in my life and that we both care of each other makes my days perfect. I wake up a big silly smile on my face. I don't care if the weather is bad, i don't care if teachers give us so much homework. Because these are pointless little things. But love is important. Happiness is important. And i have them both in my life! I am lucky! And i would always fight for these, always!:)

I am counting days till i can see J again!

"Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you."

 

Happy!

I just noticed i havent updated here for a long time.
The week when J was at home was so great! I felt lik in heaven! He always makes me feel like a pricess. I love being around him.
We did all kinds of fun things. We went to the movies (3 times), we had dinners out many times and we just spent a lot of time together. The weather was very nice too. Sunny and warm. We walked and talked and ohh..it was a good week!
Now he's back in Finland and i am again counting days till he comes home! I miss him a lot whenever he's away :(  But i'm stong and optimistic. I must be happy that i have so amazing man in my life! he's my everything!
I have been busy with university work. I had to be a "teacher" at art class and PE class. I am so glad these are over. But don't get me wrong, these were both fun ;)
It's weekend now. I came home today because it's my grandpa's 70th birthday! We had a really nice time celebrating his birthday! And oh, i ate so much :D I was joking i was eating so much so i wouldnt have to eat anything upcoming week! Wish it was true! But i know tomorrow i'll be hungry again :P
Anyway, i was just looking old photos.. the first year of uni, meeting J and everything about last year. I feel so blessed! I really love my life:) I'm so incridebly happy i met my Prince Charming. He makes my days complete!

Happppppy days!

J is at home and i am soooo happy :D Everything is so great, honestly! I like that we can talk and set thoight right. I know we both make mistakes and sometimes act the way we don't want to act. But we still do, without even knowing why. It's okay, as long as we learn from our mistakes and try to be better.
I had so much fun yesterday. J surprised me with two beautiful roses! I hadn't got roses for a while so it definitely surprised me! :) And then we went to J's dad's place (me, J and his bro). We sat there for a while, talked and then we headed out for a lunch (i ate a very delicious fish!) and then all four of us went to the movies to watch Final Desitnation 5 ! Oh'boy was that a MOVIE! So awesome! And creepy. I really liked it. After the movies we went home. It was so good to sleep next to my man, cuddle with him. He keeps me warm. I wish he could be with me every single day and night!
Today J woke before me. Such a surprise! But i actually very liked it. We talked and just laughed. Then we headed out for a breakfast. We went to the Vapiano for a pasta ( i know weird choice for breakfast, but we were starved!). Anyway, then we went to the movies! We wacthed Friends With Benefits. I soooooooooo loved it! It was the bestest movie i had watched for a long time! :) Ok. I better go and spend my whole time with J ;)

Xo.

sadness

Sadness in my heart and sole. Oh, i wish i could smile. But there's no point at smiling because i would still be hurt and broken inside. Sadness. A word that describes what i feel inside.
One day could change everything. Actually one word or sentence could. And love. It's a mystory to me. I still think it's the most beautiful feeling in the whole wide word. But it can bring you a lot of sadness too.
I am waiting for Friday. But at the same time i am so scared of it. I don't know what am i going to do. I feel so lost and alone. I feel empty and betrayed. I'm sad. And still, all i want is You!