last day of November

Autumn is so dark, so rainy, so windy. Sometimes it's moody. Without a real reason. I feel lack of energy right now. I feel myself complete only when i am with J.

I started thinking of why do people fight? Why do we say things we don't really mean? Do we really want to hurt each other on purpose?

Life is short. We should appreciate every second we are given. And we should think before we say. Because if we say, we can't take it back. All we can do, is to apologize. But why do we have to say these words at first place if we know we are going to regret them later on.

I made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. I hope that the person we love the most, can see you deeper and knows you truly well, to apologize. Because like i said, everybody makes mistakes.

"Every moment without you, is a moment of time lost."

I cannot wait to go to Finland on Friday to see the love of my life! I miss him every second every day!

It's 1st December tomorrow. The beginning of my favorite month! It's also J's brother's birthday, he's turning 19 y.o. I made him a cake for tomorrow too ;)

School is slowly getting over. I don't have much to do anymore. O'boy it makes me feel good.

I can't wait when i am done and i can really enjoy Christmas. But more than that i want to have a good time with J. We are going to Sweden on 10th December. I hope it'll be a very wonderful trip. Just the two of us!

I can take the first chocolate from adventcalenders tomorrow (i have 3 calendars). I wish J was here. Or that i was there. I miss him so much!!!! I truly hope we can talk on skype today and i can see his pretty face and hear his sweet voice!

S.B.

3 days of J.

Oh, this week has been amazing, different, tiring, fun, full of smiling, yelling, hugging, teaching. I love being a teacher. The class where i was teaching was so good. They were great! They hugged me million times a day, in the class they were like angels (most of the time). They want to learn so much, they are so quick, they are so curious. They are fantastic! So, i am very glad i took this job for a week!
I was waiting for Thursday like crazy! I missed J so bad. When i came home from school yesterday, J was in the bed watching tv. I just jumped in and gosh, it was sooooo good just to hug him and hold him close. I missed it a lot. We went to have a lunch out and then we went to the movies to watch Happy Feet 2. It was so cute and sad. Yeah, i cried. More than once. After the movie,i headed to dance class and J went home. When i arrived home about 1,5 hours later, he was asleep. I decided to go to bed too and i watched tv. When i decided to turn the tv off and go to sleep to, he woke up and started watching tv. I was soo tired and i knew i had to wake up the next morning so i didnt join him watching tv (tho he watched it from our bed. lol). Anyway, today i had the last day at Rocca Al Mare school. It was quite sad to say goodbye to the students after the last class. But J was waiting me in front of the school building and that made me want to run out! :) We went shopping. I got two pairs of new boots. Yay! I needed them so bad! We also bought some Christmas gifts and food for home. We ended up carring too many bags so we had to take a taxi. At home he helped me to do one of my art work. I had to close my eyes and he instruct me where and how to move my oilpastels. I was drawing Little My from Moomin cartoon. The drawing ended up pretty cute. Lol.
Well, now J went out with his friends for couple of hours. I am watching tv (and blogging) and eating candies! The most important thing. I was craving for estonian candies today, so i bought some :) And now eating them!
Okay, Grey's Anathomy started. I better watch it ;)
Xo.

S.

hello, teacher here!

Hello, it's me again!
I have been a bit busy. First of all, when J was here last week, i had such an amazing time with him! Really! We went to the movies, went out for lunches and dinners. We just enjoyed the time together. We also bought a new TV. So we have a TV in our bedroom now, yay!
Anyway, when J left i was sad, but he's coming home on Thursday already! I cannot wait!
This week i am working at Rocca Al Mare school. I am teaching 1.a grade there because their teacher is ill. So, i can be a teacher for a whole week! So awesome! Today was my frist day and oh i was soooo tired when i eventually got home. But then i did mu uni stuff and waited for J to come to skype. We talk on skype every day(or night). I am a bit hurt by what he said to me. it's nothing serious tho, but it feels like i am trying to do good, but for him it mean nothing and is more bad than good. But i am doing it for him, for both of us, for our home. Not for myself only. I want things to get ready fast because we had a hope the apartment would be ready for Christmas. And i really want it to happen. So, that's why i may be a little rushing into things and i am being a bit pushy. I am sorry. But sometimes i just wish that he wants these things too, not only me.
Oh well, it's not the end of the world tho. After talking to him, i just started thinking about why do i even try so hard and want it to be homey and nice. We dont even live her together, just the two of us. His brother lives with us too. But still. Everything is almost ready. But nothing gets ready without an action!

Okay, enough of my midnight vent. I am so tired! And i soooo miss J! I want to be with him and i hope the kitchen table is nice and he likes it. I guess i can't get it out of my head now. I hope i can at least sleep well at night not like last night when i couldnt fall asleep.

Night!

PS! I love you, J!

Family day

It was a nice day tomorrow. My family (mom, dad and both sisters) came to my apartment to pick me up. Then we went to have a lunch together. It was so good to just eat out and talk. All of us together. After the lunch we went to the movies to watch "One day". It was a good movie. Maybe it seemed without a real interesting storyline, but actually it was a deep movie and made you think of the value of life. It was a moving story with an unhappy ending. A tragedy. But there was also a lot of laugher. A good movie.

Now i am back at home. Today morning i cleaned the whole apartment. So, when i came back from the movies then it was so good to come home to a clean apartment :) I took a shower, colored my nails, watched Gossip Girl and Hart of Dixie. Then i ate mandarins, listened to music, did some workout and talked to Shawny on the skype. I think now i am going to bed to read a book and then sleep (although i am not sleepy yet). I just want tomorrow to come quicker! I miss J! I want it to be tomorrow. I want to see him, i want to kiss him, i want to be with him! I miss him so bad! So, i realllly want it to be tomorrow already! And that means the night must pass. And it passes quicker if i sleep ;)

Well, i am better off to bed now.

Night! (it's 9:07pm)

sooo close!

I have been counting the days and finally Sunday is so close. Tomorrow's Saturday and I am going to the restaurant and to the movies with my parents and sister tomorrow to celebrate Father's Day. Although it's on Sunday. But dad goes to work on Sunday. Oh, Sunday, dear Sunday. I have been waiting for it so long! J comes home on Sunday. And it's our little anniversary, we have been 1 year and 3 months together! Happy days! The happiest! I cannot wait to see his beautiful face, hear is voice, see him laughing and hold him tight next to myself. I miss him so much it hurts!

7 days

I am counting day's till J comes home again! 7 more days! And we can't even talk to skype all that time because he doesn't have a laptop right now. I miss him so much!!!! But thankfully we can call and send text messages! I love my Prince so much and i really want him to come back home already! I need to spend time with him!

I am at my parents' place right now. I wanted to come here for the weekend so the time would pass quicker. That's what i hoped at least. But i am not so sure about it anymore. Well, i am going back to Tallinn tomorrow. On Monday i'll be busy with uni again and so is the rest of the week.

But i am going to read a book now.

Xo.

Missing you!

So hard again! J left back to Finland yesterday. And i am so extremely sad again! It's really hard to be away from someone you love. I envy these couples who can see each other and be together every day! I really value it! And i dream of that life. I keep dreaming that one day it's possible for me and J too. That we go to bed together at night and wake up next to each other EVERY morning! This is my biggest ridream! And i do everything for it to be come true! I have realized lately that no job or no other thing is more important than love. My life for J is the biggest and he's always in the first place in my life!

J bought me an amazing book few days ago. It's called If You Could See Me Now. It's written by Cecelia Ahern - my very favorite bookwriter! All her books are so amazing. Few weeks ago J bought me The Gift (also written by Cecelia Ahern). I have her other books too and today i visited her website and saw that her new book is coming out on 1st December! It's called The Time Of Our Lives. I can't wait to read it. I have all her books right now, except two books of short stories. I hope to get these too. But i guess i must order these because i haven't seen them at our bookshops.

Well, i just colored my finger nails and what i noticed - my nail polish bottle is almost empty. Few years ago i had so many nail polishes and they never ended. Usually they just got old. But recently i have only few favorites that i use a lot and now i see one of my fav purple nail polishes is ending! Wow! It's the first time my nail polish bottle gets empty before it gets old.

Oeh. I am waiting for J to come to skype... wait..there he is :) Yaya! I better go and talk to him now!