thinking far ahead...

I had so awful stomach pain yesteday and the whole last night. I still have it actually. It is sooo annoying! I hope it will pass quickly! I had to skip my workout yesterday because of it and I am not sure I can workout today either :( It just hurts soo much!

The weather is so nice today. So sunny and beautiful. I am going for a walk soon. I'll walk to Jay's work and then we can walk back home together. I need fresh air. I hope it also makes my tummy feel better :)

I have been thinking of my upcoming birthday a lot lately. That's because I have no idea how to celebrate it. I want to celebrate it, but dont know how or where. If I cant figure it out, I might not celebrate it this year at all. I dont know. Help!!! Thing is that I never have big birthday parties. I just like a little cathering with my friends, we eat, watch a movie, talk, take photos and just have a nice time together. But since I moved to Tallinn I dont feel like inviting my friends to my parents house anymore coz I sorta moved out from there. But I cant invite them to my Tallinn apartment either coz I am not living there alone; Jay's brother lives there too. And I dont know if there is a reason to rent a party place because I dont really PARTY that much. I like cozy meet and catch-up with my friends. Maybe I just wont celebrate my birthday this year and I will start celebrating it when Jay and I have our own place! Real home :) I like to cook for my guests and have a nice meal and watch a movie or play some games (Wii or PS3 or some boardgames!). That would be more like me! But I have time to think about it! My birthday isnt within a month. Since my granny has a birthday 2 days before me I guess the relatives are coming to her birthday anyway and usually then come to my parents' place too. So, I might cook a cake and celebrate me and my sister's birthday at my parents' place. Well, we'll see. If i celebrate or I don't either way it is a very special day for me and I am so happy that Jay can be with me that day! I hope we will do something fun together that day! Maybe have breakfast in bed and dinner out and something more :) I dont know why but for me birthday has always carried on a special meaning and I like to celebrate it and I just love birthdays! Birthday is one day that belongs to you and you are the most speical person on that day! :)

I have always wanted to have a cupcake as a birthday treat :)

challenge

Soon after I blogged yesterday Jay called me and told me to go to the gym with him! So I packed my bag and went to his work place and we went to the gym together! It was fun! But i realized that I like to do outdoor activities much better! For example I like to ride a bike that actually moves from where it is staying at first, and I like to walk and swim and rollerskate and ice-skate. But of course sometimes in gym are very good too! Like yesterday! :)

In the morning today Jay's phone alarm rang...in another room. But we heard it. And if he tured his alarm off he was like: oh shittt! The alarm was set too late. So, we had to run to his work! I really hope he made there on time! In a rush in the morning he couldnt find his phone anymore, but he didnt really need it, so he stopped looking for it. When he leaved home, I went back to bed and soon enough I heard his phone alarm again. I found his phone on the armchair.

Well, I continoued sleeping till 9.10am. I am awake now, had two cinnamon rolls and a banana for breakfast. It is not even 10am yet. What to do??

I am planning on watching my fav tv shows and maybe read a bit! And workout a bit too :) And by 3pm I am going to Jay's workplace. I am going to call my dad later and ask what time he finishes his job. I would like to hear about all the exciting things of he and mom's trip to Egypt!

I have decided that I have to cut the amount of chocolate I eat every day. Since today I try to eat every day just ONE chocolate bar (like Snickers or Tupla). One is enough, right? Tell me it is! Well, it'll be tough considering I usually eat way morrreeee!!! I am addicted to chocolate just like some can't live a day without coffee. Well, I will see how it goes.

sunshine!!!

I wish you could see the beautiful sunshine that is outside right now! It feels like it is spring already! I am totally waiting for spring! Although the snow is still on the ground, it is melting and melting and it is matter of days (or weeks) till it is melted. Every morning I have waken up here in Finland I hear birds singing outside the bedroom window. So beautiful morning alarm!

Jay and I went swimming yesterday. It was nice. Well, Jay has lost weight and his shorts were too big for him and couldnt stay up. So, he couldnt swim like normal people did. He just was on the water, holding his shorts up! :D And I, well, first of all, when I arrived to the pool (after I had put on my swimming suit), I saw Jay nowhere (I felt SO blind without my glasses!). I told Jay to come to me when he saw me in the pool coz I definitely couldnt see him! But he didnt come. So I guessed he was still changing his clothes. So, I decided to go to the pool. But I had no idea what these signs in finnish meant :/ But I didnt care and I went to the pool. I swum about 10 minutes and I started to panic already. Where was Jay?? But then there he was. He said he went to the sauna. Nice! I wish he had told me that before so I wouldnt have to panic. Anyway, I asked him if I was swimming at the right part of the pool. He said, well, no. It was meant for water walkers("vesikõndijatele"). How weird. Some people who were also there with me, didnt walk, they also swam! But whatever. So, we had fun time swimming. At some point, I was swimming toward Jay and ouchhh, Jay's fingernail hurt my eye! It was pretty hurtful and under my eye was a red stripe. Now it is a bit better and it doesnt hurt so much. Anyway, when we started walking home I heard some weird noise. And then I noticed that my wet hair had froze! I had icy hair!

We were walking and we knew we had pretty long way home. And then piip, piip, our friend saved us! He was drining around and thank God he happened to pass us! He gave us lift to the shop and then home :) (We bought bananas, chocolate and peanuts mix). The last one was a mistake. When we arrived home I was soo hungry. I started making dinner, but while I was making it, I ate salty peanuts. And when the dinner was ready I ate just a bit. And eventho I didnt eat much at all, I felt so full and so sick! I layed down and I really felt sick. It felt like I needed to throw up. But I didnt. But I couldnt think of food at all. And I felt bad until I fell asleep! Thankfully in the morning I felt okay again. So, the first thing I did today morning was to turn the tv on and eat some chocolate! Lol. So typical!

Well, Jay is going to the gym after his work is done. And I am planning to workout at home a bit, watch my fav tv shows, read a book and just wait for Jay to get home.

My mom and dad are coming back from Egypt today. Next weekend Jay and I are going to their place to hear all about their trip and see the photos they took! So exciting! I bet they are really tanned!

chocolate lover

Well, well, well. It was Estonia's Independent Day yesterday. Most estonians cooked estonian traditional food. But what did I eat? Since I am in Finland I couldnt get a hand on estonian food. So, Jay and I ended up eating out at some arabians foodplace. I had a vegetarian pizza and he had kebab with fries and fresh salad. We also went to the foodshop and bought some food (chips and hamburgers for Jay, apples and chocolate for me.) Oh, chocolate. I seriously think I am atticted to it. If I am craving for chocolate and if I cant have it I will have a headache. Maybe I should try to eat it less so I wouldnt be so atticted anymore! But well, yesterday I got so much chocolate.. so I wouldnt have to go to the shop everyday. First thing I did today morning was turn on the tv and open a big chocolate bar :D It was Fazer dark chocolate with pear pieces and almonds. Really delicious! I ate half of the big bar. Not good! But well, I will workout soon and then I will walk to Jays work that is at least 30 minutes fast walk (hopefully burns some of the fat I got from the chocolate. LOL) And then we are going swimming! Yay! I havent swum for soooo long! I cannot wait. I love water!

Oh, I have recently fell in love with these VS pants! Arent they gorgeous? :)

Right where I belong ...

I arrived in Finland in Hyvinkää on Wednesday at 9pm. I am so happy to be here with my Prince. Gosh, I missed him! I am glad I can just rest and be, all my school work is prepered and I can just relax and enjoy my short holiday! I took few books with me that I can read here when I have nothing else to do. Yesterday I made pancakes and I watched 5 episodes of One Tree Hill. And when Jay finished his work we spent the rest of the day and night together. It is sooo good to be with him! Today I have been watching Gossip Girl. It is so awesome! I also did a little workout. And soon I am going to walk to Jay's work and then we will go to foodshop and back home.

Oh, by the way, happy Independence Day, Estonia :)

Okay, I think I must go change now and then off I am.

busily excited

What a busy day! First of all, I went to school. Then I went to the foodshop between two classes (I had one off). The plastic bag was sooo heavy when I came back I thought I'm gonna die. I just couldnt walk... And then the bag broke :S Ugh! But somehow I managed to get back to school! I was really tired then. Well, thank god I had bought a chocolate. I ate it and got my energy back! :)
After classes I had to walk to the bus stop...with the broken heavy bag! It was awful. I couldnt wait to GET HOME! Eventually I did of course. And at home I took about 15 books and went to the library. I needed to return these because I AM GOING TO FINLAND TOMORROW! First I am going to school and my classes end 2.15pm and then I'll come home and then to the ship harbour! :) My ship leaves 5.30pm. I am so happy! And since it's a holiday at school I can be there till 5th March! So happy! I really miss Jay and I can't wait to be with him already!!!!!!!!!Yayyyy! :)

When I came back from the library I cleaned the whole apartment and had a little dinner. Now I'm going to do some school stuff I think and then I'll just watch tv and rest! Holiday makes me happy :):)

I believe in me

I have had such a confusing day with ups and downs. And it scares me a bit. But I hope it's all going to be alright!

I was listening to Demi Lovato's newest album and doing some workout. And I came across her old song "Believe in me". It reminds me of the time I graduated and I had to go to make university tests. And i was listening to this song on the bus. It gave me a lot of belief in myself. It still does if I listen to it. Some days I feel down and I feel so alone. But I must remember I have the most amazing people in my life. And I am so thankful for that! I love my fiance :)

some photos

 I made pizza for Jay :)

And I made an apple pie! It was so delicious! I ate it all by myself!

This is the painting I made for Jay for our 1,5 year anniversary!

 Jay is watching tv and Chuck is sleeping on his stomach!

 Jay bought me tulips when I was in Finland with him :)

 We also cooked in Finland! We made lasagna.

 It was soooo good!

Jay is enjoying his dinner :)

Jay and little Jonathan (my nephew).

excellent weekend!!!!

Like I said, I have been extremely busy. But teaching is so much fun! And day by day I feel more confident and I go to "work" like I have done that job for years. I really like it!

Jay came home on Friday! We had a dinner out and then we came home and watched tv on bed. I was in university on Saturday till 4pm. Jay came there when my classes finished and we went to have a dinner at Scotland Yard. It was my frirst time to have a dinner there. It was really nice evening! We celebrated out 1,5 year anniversary:) Oh we ate a LOT! After the dinner I felt so strange, it was because I ate too much I think. So, i threw up! Yuk. It happens really seldom, so it was a bit scary. Although we had other plans, we skipped these because I didn't feel so great. I drank a lot of water and we went to the movies instead (coz I needed to sit not walk!). Well, after the movie we went home. At home there was a surprise for me. Really really really special surprise! Jay is the BEST! But it's not time to talk about it yet ;)

Anyway, at home we just watched tv on our bed and I fell asleep pretty fast. I didn't feel very good. In the morning I had runny nose, sore throat and my head was sooo heavy. I also had a little temperature. So I was sick! We spent the whole Sunday on bed. I was so sleepy, I slept, watched tv, slept and watched more tv. Jay did the same. It was actually good to just rest and spend the whole day on bed :)

Jay went back to Finland last night. It made me sad as always :( I can't wait to be with him again! Two weeks more internship and then I will go to Finland to be with Jay :) Cannot wait! I love him so much and I need to be with him!

This weekend I am going to Kohila to my parents' place. I wish Jay could come too! Oh, wishes, wishes.

Well, I better go to bed, read a book and watch tv.

Night!

busy life!

I have been extremely busy since my internship started. Although I am so busy and it's a lot of work, i really like being a teacher! Only thing is that I miss Jay. But he did something very very sweet for me last weekend. He came home! He wasn't supposed to come home, but he did! And that made me soooo happy and so much stronger. It gave me a lot of energy! He inspires me :)

It's Wednesday today and he comes home on Friday! Yay! I have to go to uni on Friday and Saturday. So crazy and it sucks because I can't be with Jay so much as I would like to. But at least we have a little part of Saturday and Sunday to be together and to celebrate Valentine's Day and our 1,5 year anniversary! I cannot wait! Last 3 days I have been working on a present for him - a painting. I finished it today. I truly hope he likes it! I'll put a photo of it here later too when he has got the gift:)

Anyway, about my internship. It's going great! I am totally enjoying teaching 2nd grade. My students are so sweet!!!!

It's so weird to think how much I must prepare for the classes. I haven't watched any of the tv shows I usually watch. I'll enjoy watching these later after the internship.

I will post some photos of my teacher work later too.When I have more time. And i also want to post photos of the lasagne Jay and I cooked when I was in Finland. Last Friday I made an apple pie and pizza. I'll post the photos later!

Well, it's time to finish and do some work again. But before I go, i want to post here a thought I came across today. I think it's so beautiful, honest and true. We all should follow it!

Happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts..... Lets enjoy life and don't live a complicated life. Life is too short. Work as if it was your first day. Forgive as soon as possible. Love without boundaries... Laugh without control and never stop smiling.