home & love

I had a very nice time with Elise the other day. We went to the movies to see Breaking Dawn. It was my second time to watch it. It was so good to catch  up and to talk about these few months we hadnt seen each other. We went back to Kohila together and I stayed there for 2 days. I have realized that Kohila is a very nice place and I love going there, but it's not the same as it used to be. I have a home in Tallinn now. Home with Jay. If I am in Tallinn I feel much closer to Jay, even if he's not here but at work. But yesterday in Kohila i only kept thinking about him, and i missed him sooo much! I couldnt wait to get back to Tallinn! Most of my belongings are also in Tallinn apartment. My room in Kohila is still very sweet to me, but it's  somehow different. But i love the warmth in there and i love my pets. Bonnie slept in my bed both nights. I loved it!!!!!!!!!! And it was nice to talk to mom about everything and nothing at the same time.

I came home today, back to Tallinn. I cleaned the apartment and finished reading the book "The Love Verb". I absolutely love this book. When i was reading it in Kohila yesterday, it made me so sad. Because it is a sad book. It's about loss. But even more it's about friendship, hope, life and love. I truly reccomend it to everybody. The author says that the main message in the novel is to remember to show the people you love that you love them. Not only to say, but to show it!!!

The bonus of this book is that every chapter end with a recipe! ;) Delicious foods I must say!

Well, i'll post the cover of the book here too!

Jay is coming home tonight! I am going to make him a dinner and for dessert some pancakes!

I can't wait to be with him and tell and SHOW him how much i love him!!!

Christmas 2011

Christmas Eve morning was CRAZY! But it all worked out well. Jay and I caught a train to Kohila and spent a nice Christmas Eve there. We had a family over there and had a Christmas dinner. Everybody read poems and got presents from Santa :)
We took a lot of photos. The next day we slept pretty long, then Jay and i went to Merikan and Janar's place. Guys played playstation of course!
Today we came back to Tallinn, had a lunch at Lido and went to the foodshop. Then we were just at home, laying on the bed, watching tv and reading books :) It was so good to be together doing nothing! But being together! Now Jay went to Finland. He must work for 3 days. He's coming back on 29th already!
I am going to the movies with Elise tomorrow. And then I am going to Kohila for two days. I'll be back in Tallinn by the time Jay comes home;)

Merry Christmas :)

yesss!

Yay! Jay is on the way home. They were on time, which means he arrives to Estonia at 7:30pm :) I am going to the harbour to meet him and then we'll go to buy some food. Oh, the ship arrives in hour and 20 minutes, but I am so bored, so I suppose I am going to change my clothes and start slowly walking to the harbour. I can't wait to see my Prince!

I took this cute photo of Chuch today! He's sleeping like a baby!

Fingers crossed!

I just called Jay to talk to him. I knew he finished his job about 20 minutes ago. Anyway, I called him and he said that he's on the railway station.. i was like: ALREADY? He said he's trying to go to an earlier ship :) So, if he can make it he'll be home 7:30pm instead of 10pm :) Yay! I am super HAPPY! But, it's not sure yet that he can make it there on time. So, right now i keep my fingers crossed and hope that Christmas angels are making it all happen and Jay arrives home earlier than first planned! I really miss my sweetheart!

22th Dec

The best thing about me is YOU. I heard this saying today and I really like it. I feel I can relate to it. Jay brings the best out of me, me fulfills my life. He's a huge part of who I am.

The closer Christmas come the happier and excited I get. I know some people don't like nor appreciate Christmas. Maybe they just don't see it the way most of us does. Or the way I do. For me Christmas isn't about the gift. For me it's an amazing holiday. We don't have to work, we have our days off to be with the one with love, with our family or friends, our pets or our children...whoever we want to be with. It's even more perfect if it's snowy outside. Christmas is time to take your time out, not to worry, and just relax and have fun. Every Christmas I realise how happy I am to have all these people in my life. I appreciate all I have. And Jay is my Christmas angel :) My everything. My life wouldnt be the same without him. To be honest, i can't imagine my life without him at all!!!!

Today I watched a tv show and there someone said that if you want your true love and passion in your relationship to stay, you both must work for it. You both must do extraordinary things sometimes. You can't live in the rutine only. Because sooner or later you start seeking more... outside your relationship. I'll never let that happen to me and Jay. I want our passion to last forever! And if we work for it, it won't fade away!

Jay is coming home tomorrow at 10pm. I'll give him to his Christmas gifts at midnight! I hope he'll like these :)

I miss him! I am so glad I can spend another Christmas with him! And i truly hope I can spend every following Christmas with him!!!!! I am planning to stay with him forever. I am always here for him! Always&forever!

I want snow

It's so dark already! Jay was up all nighyt (coz he was sleeping at day time)..So, when i woke up in the morning he fell asleep. Nice huh? But he's dad came over so he had to force himself to wake up. I am going to make a dinner soon i hope. I'm so hungry. I have been eating 2 chocolate cakes today! O'boy! It's so good!!!!!!!! Anyway, I better read a book and try to think positive!

I want snowy Christmas, warm cozy home and see my pets Bonnie, Tikker and Muffin. I miss these guys! Don't you worry, guys, I'm coming home for Christmas!:) I can't believe it's only 4 more days till Christmas. I cannot wait. Jay is going to Finland tonight and coming back on 23rd Dec night. And then next day we'll go to Kohila :):):):)

Mission Impossible

Yeah, today i thought it was impossible to get Jay out of bed. He was sooo tired. But he woke up just before i got the dinner ready. So, we had dinner, watched tv and decided to go to the movies to see Mission Impossible 4. Wow! It was such an amazing movie! After the movie we walked home (but before that we stopped by at McDonald's ... Jay was hungry). Anyway, I am totalllllly loving that chocolate cake that Jay got for Christmas from his work. It's just delicious. I could eat it forever :) Too bad it's so late ( 0:12am) because i would love to have a piece of that cake right now. But i better wait till morning! Perfect breakfast! Anyway, I am going to watch one episode of How I Met Your Mother and then i'll read a book and off to bed. Night!

Homey

Jay came home on Monday (yesterday). It was soooo good to see him and to hold him. He got a christmas gift from his work. He got three HUGE chocoate cakes (so yummiiee!), then he got 16 packaces of frozen pies with jam ( i made two griddles of these yesterday! really good!) and he also got about 6 packs of cannelonis and a pack of rice. AND my favorite - a cake pan, a silicon cake pan ( a shape of star) and 6 silicon muffin plates. Something for me! Now i can bake a lot! haha:)

Anyway, yesteday i made cannelonis with minced meat and then later we went to have a dinner out at Lido and then we went to the foodshop and back at home. We were both so tired. Especially Jay. He fell asleep at 8:30pm...and he woke up today morning at 10am. He was awake for about 2 hours and he's asleep again. Poor guy. He's so tired of work! I hope he wakes up soon though.

I watched The Hard of Dixie and How I Met Your Mother. I guess I'm going to read a book now.

heavy morning

It's almost 10am. I woke up about 20 minutes ago, had a breakfast. Now i am getting myself ready. I look awful. I have swollen eyes and they are soooo heavy i can hardly keep them open. They really look so awful :S I don't have a mood to go dancing actually. But dancing is my passion and I dont want to let anyone to ruin that for me. So, I try to find my energy and my positive self and enjoy the show. I better forget everything else...I need to concentrate to myself for once. But to be honest, my mind is travelling around. I am scared of the thoughts I have. But things must change. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy. We all deserve that!

S.B.

count down..

It's Saturday and I had the last lecture in university today (yeah school on Saturday). But i survived it. And what matters the most, is that I am on holidays now! No university until the second week of January (i have 3 exams then). But after the exams i have two more weeks of holiday! And on February starts the internship! Oh boy, it'll be a crazy time! I really need to rest, to relax and enjoy the holiday season. I feel so stressed and so weak. Some nights tears just roll out of my eyes without a reason. I am just weak. And I miss Jay! I really need him here! But there's only one full day between us. I am going to Practice Night tomorrow and on Monday morning Jay comes home! I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!

Oh, i want snowy winter, but i am starting to loose my hope. It's only raining :/ I need something to brighten my days. I need Jay (like i already mentioned). But yeah, I gotta be strong. Like I used to be. lotLately i feel so weak. When i was teenager i had some hard times until i had to fight with it. So, i found my inner strenght. I never know i was so strong. And I changed. I was always very positive, i was strong, i was totally enjoying my life. And I do so right now too! But lately i have felt like i am loosing my strenght. Maybe it's just because I feel a bit alone and I miss Jay a lot! But he's always with me - in my heart. I really want to hug him, to talk to him, and hear how much i mean to him. Sometimes i need it. I need it a lot. I need to know that no matter what he's always supporting and protecting me. Oh, I miss him! Counting hours till Monday morning!

Love always!

S.B.

The love of my life

I had a romantic walk with Jay yesterday! He showed me some beautiful places.

In the Old Town of Tallinn. My big snowman :)

In Sweden with Jay.

He's my everything!

And he makes me laugh! I am the happiest when he's around! <3

Little Jonathan

Like i mentioned in one of my earlier blogs my sister got a baby. So, i am an aunt now. Here is my little newphew Jonathan!

1 yr + 4 m

I can't believe its 13th December already. I remember that day a year ago. Then Jay and I celebrated our 4 months anniversary. Now it's one year and 4 months! Time flies. I must say that this year was so amazing. Every second with Jay is so amazing. He's so caring and sweet. He makes me happy!!!!

We went to Sweden on Saturday. The ship cruise was really fun, but i especially loved walking on Stockholm streets while holding hands with my love. The weather was so nice and there were so many Christmas fairs on the streets. We took a lot of photos too. We didn't buy much. BUT i got a Christmas gift from Jay! I know it's not Christmas yet, but it seems to become our tradition that Jay gaves me a Christmas gift before Christmas (he did that last year too!). He's not very fond of Christmas. But i really hope it'll change by time because i really love Christmas. It's my favorite season and i love celebration it. I like to decorate my home, buy cute Christmas gifts and just enjoy the peacful snowy time with the ones i love! And Jay is definitely the most important to me!

Well, so, what did i get from him for Christmas? I got a veryyyy beautiful gold ring and gold earrings that are perfect match for the ring! I love them <3 He actually let me pick them up to be sure i like them! :) So happy to have such a beautiful jewellery. And i am glad i got them from him coz they are now more meaningful to me!

So, what else. I am trying to study for geography test that's tomorrow while Jay is playing his computer games. He's really addicted to computer games! But i hope we'll have time for me today too since it's our special day. We actually got a new kitchen table and i really hope he can set it up today!

Another thing, i got a call from RAM school on Sunday. They wanted me to work there for one day, Wednesday. But sadly i had to refuse because i have geography test that day and a skiing lecture :( I really wanted to go, but hopefully next time!

Wow. Like i said it's 13th which means it's my last week in uni. Only 4 more days (yeah i have uni on Saturday too!). I have a dance performance on Sunday (PRACTISE NIGHT! yayyy!). We have a practice on Saturday evening too, i really hope i am able to go. It depends what time it is because i have to be in uni  till 4pm. Jay can't come to see the dance show, but that's okay. He's coming home the day after the performance, on 19th! I love December because we can be together a lot! :)

Okay, i think i really should try harder to study for tomorrow's test because right now it seems i am not studying at all. :P

S.B.

anything for you, my love

I would run a thousand mile just to be with you tonight

I would swim an ocean to see you and kiss you good night

I would die for you because you are my everything

you have given me the strongest wings

I can now fly and see the life around me

And i now know who i really want to be

If you are with me, i am complete and set

I still think of that sunny August day we met

I fell for you, and you let me fall

You came closer and distroyed the invisable wall

No longer there’s anything against us

Our magical world belongs to us

Forever i want to be with you

Remember, everything i do is for you

sooo close!

It's Thursday. University is over for this week (and only one week more and then it's a holiday!). I'll go to dance pracitce soon. We are practicing for our Christmas show Practice Night. It's on 18th Dec. We are performing with a dance from Ciara's video "Gimme dat". It's really powerful and full of energy! Love it!

Jay is coming  home tomorrow!!! I cannot wait! I have been counting the days. I really miss  him. I always do when he's away. He lightens my days! I need him here!

So, I'll cook for him tomorrow and then we are going to Kohila to visit my sister's baby boy and my friend's baby boy. Actually tomorrow at 5pm is a book presentation at Viru Shopping Center. The book is called "Minu Ameerika 3" (My America 3). I have the frist and second book and i really want to get the third one too. Too bad i can't go to the presentation, i would have loved to meet to author.

Anyway, i am really looking for me and Jay's Sweden trip. I hope it'll be very wonderful!

And gosh, Christmases are so close! But i am totally ready for it! I have done all  the Christmas shopping and i have decorated my room with Christmas stuff. I only need to make ginger cookies, but i'll do that next week ;)

I really love Christmas fairs where they sell handmade gifts. I have found so many amazing little gifts for my family already.

December is really my favorite month. I feel so peaceful because university is getting over, holiday is coming closer, all the places around the city are decorated with Christmas lights and it's snowing. And i feel that at Christmas time people have more time to look around themselves. At least i do. And i appreciate all i have! That's why i am really looking for spending the time with Jay at Sweden cruise, just the two of us! I love him so much! I really want this trip to be amazing. I am taking my camera to the trip too so we can take photos!

Oh, i so want it to be tomorrow already! I want to hold hands with my favorite person in the whole wide world - my lovely Prince.

New life!

I am an aunt now. My sister has a beautiful baby boy now - Jonathan :) I went to the hospital today to visit them. Jonathan is such a cute little boy! :) I got to hold him. Gosh, he's skin is soooo soft!!!!!!

Well, i went to the eye clinic today to run some tests. I just wanted to be sure that my eyes are good for the laser operation. I am not going to have it yet, but hopefully in the future. I seriously can't wait to get rid of classes and finally have the clear vision!!!!

I went to Finland on Friday morning. I couldnt wait to be with Jay. I really loved being with him. We stayed at my dad's place. I like the most that we laughed a lot and just had fun. I came back on Sunday. And the traffic was so bad so i missed my boat and had to come with the next one. Anyway, I think Jay and I both learned a lot from these days, especially from Sunday. We should appreciate each other more and show it out. We are going to a boat cruise to Sweden upcoming Saturday and i think it'll be good for us. We can be together away from everything and everybody. I truly hope this trip will be magical and good for our relationship. I love my Prince sooooo much!!!!!!!

I can't wait till Friday because Jay comes home then. I want to cook him something. And when we have had lunch, we are going to Kohila to visit little Jonathan! :)