I need a miracle!

I miss Jay sooo much! And right now my biggest dream is that he could come home by weekend! I need that. I need him, his support, his kindness! I really need him! So, all I can do is to cross my fingers and ask for my wish to come true!

now and forever

The weekend with Jay was so wonderful. Really special and fun. But now he's back in Finland and I feel so empty. Well, actually I feel just lonely and I wish he was here. Or i was there with him. I feel like every time we are apart he has a big piece of my heart with him and I can't function normally without him next to me. He's my life! But inside I know that I am so lucky to have him and I am truly happy that I have so amazing man who loves me just the way I love him. Although we must be apart because of his work a lot, every second we are together is so special! I love my Prince with the bottom of my heart! Now and forever!

thoughts are occupying my head

One Tree Hill, Gossipp Girl, Pretty Little Liars, The Lying Game, Jane By Design, Swiched At Birth - these have been my daily friends! I am still in Finland and while Jay is at work, I watch tv series. We are going back to Estonia tomorrow! I cannot wait to hug my sweet kitty!!! And of course I want to have something delicious to eat. So we already decided that as soon as we get off the ship the first stop will be Lido, we need a good dinner! :)

So what I have been up to since the last time i blogged. Not much. Well, Jay and I watched two movies, Killer Elite (wasn't very good) and Smurfs (that was soooo funny!!!). And Jay and I made dinner together last night - spagetti with tuna and tomatoe sauce. It was good!

Before we made a dinner we went to the food shop. I don't know why I so obsessed with chocolate but I am. So we ended up buying so much chocolate. Then at night when we were sleeping, well, not really sleeping yet, I started thinking when did I start loving chocolate so much. When I was younger I didn't eat that much chocolate. I liked it, but I didn't need it every day. But it got me thinking that when I was younger I ate a lot of crap. For example, chips, hamburgers and stuff like that. But then I at some point stopped eating so much junk. And I think it was in high school when I started eating more chocolate than I had usually did. And when I went to university, that was the high point, I started craving for chocolate a lot. And then I met Jay. He is spoiling me with chocolate :) Whenever I eat too much chocolate, my next thought is that I don't want chocolate anymore and all I want are lots of fruits. But even Jay knows that if 10 minutes has passed, I would like to eat some chocolate again :/ I am now thinking is that a bad or a good thing...eating chocolate. No. Not just eating chocolate, but eating a lot of chocolate. I don't know. But I am trying to balence it with fruits and other food! So, don't get me wrong, I eat a lot of chocolate, but I also like to eat fruits. A lot. I seriously can't wait till summer season starts, because then the supermarkets are full of good and fresh fruits, such as strawberries and blueberries and cherries! My three favorite ones! Yum!

But yeah, like I said, we are going back to Estonia tomorrow. I am excited, but at the same time a bit sad. Because I know that after the weekend I'll be all alone, because Jay is going back to work and well I have to deal with university things again... I am excited and worried about it all together. It's a new experience, so I guess it's normal to be a little nervous. But at the same time I cannot wait to challenge myself and to see how it all works out. Intersting and worth to wait for!

Oh, tomorrow night I'll be sleeping on my bed again! My heavenly bed! :) I never knew I would miss my bed so much! So I most definitely appreciate my bed wayyy better now!!!

Okay, I better start watching One Tree Hill now. It's crazy to think that it's the very last season of it. And the same about Pretty Little Liars.

Day by day

It's Friday and not much has happened. But I am happy. I can be with Jay every day! We got some estonian food yesterday, so that's good too! I just watched One Tree Hill. O'boy it's such a interesting. It's the last season. And Pretty Little Liars has also the last season. Maybe it's even good because then i won't spend so much time gazing at the computer screen watching my fav tv shows. But yeah, I should study for my last exam, but I am not really motivated. Maybe I'll go to my dad's place and watch tv....E channel :P

I feel actually quite bad that I spend so much time on the Internet or on watching tv. Not good! I should read, study, go out and so on... Maybe that's what I am going to do. Have a little walk :)

Strawberries, blueberries, cherries..

I really can't wait for summer season because I miss the taste of my favorite berries. As soon as I go back to Estonia, I'll take the frozen fresh strawberry jam out of my freezer and make stawberry smoothie! Ohh, I cannot wait!!! And I really want some fresh food, salad or something. Whenever I eat too much chocolate or cookies or other sweets, I just need something fresh and healthy!

I finished reading book "Minu Eesti 3" (My Estonia 3) today. It was soooo amazing! I loved every page of it! I cannot wait to read the 4th one (yeah, there will be the 4th one too!). Well, I don't know if I said, but Jay bought me two books written by Nicholas Sparks ("The Best Of Me" and "Safe Heaven"). I took The Best Of Me with me to Finland and I'll start reading this one next!

I still very enjoy walking in the cold snowy weather here in Finland. Love it! But I miss my home already! Especially our big bed! And estonian food! Yeah, Finland is so close, but the food here is crap (sorry!). Most of the food anyway. Not to mention the difference at prices. But we'll get some estonian food soon. Jay's friend is coming here from Estonia, so he'll bring us some!

cold snowy winter weather

I am still in Finland and I absolutely love how cold and snowy it is here. When i left from Estonia on Friday, it was very windy, snowy and cold there too. But not that cold as right now in Finland. If i go out and I am wearing right clothes that keep me warm, it's just a joy to have a walk in the snow and cold air! I love it :)

It is 4pm right now and Jay's work won't end till 9pm. I have been reading a book and just looking around the Internet. But I think I am going to have a little walk with my iPod! Demi Lovato's album "Unbroken" is my totally favorite right now! :)

Oh, about yesterday! After Jay finished his work we went to the foodshop. I picked up a recipe of one lasagna. So, we bought everything we needed and when we came home Jay cooked a dinner for us (i helped him just a little bit). And it was DELICIOUS! Seriously! I hadnt eaten lasagna for soooo long. So, it was a nice dinner. We decided that we should have lasagna for dinner more often now. Thanfully we made it quite a lot, so we can have it for dinner tonight too! :)

A view to a snowy street in Hyvinkää, Finland, at 7pm.

forgotten food

Oh, oh, oh. I think it was in November when i blogged about the food world of colors and tastes. And i remembered my promise to try out more recipes and to cook more often. Actually i have quite sticked to my promise, my plan. I have been cooking quite a lot. Now i am thinking maybe i should take some photos of the food i make so i would see how my cooking gets better day by day (i really hope it does!) LOL. Well, but today is Jay's turn to cook something delicious to me! He said i only have to pick up the recipe and then we'll go to foodshop to get everything we need for that meal and then he'll cook me. I was a big yay at first, i still am, but i didn't know it was so hard to pick up on recipe. Dear stomach, tell me what you want for late lunch today?! But thankfully there are soooo many amazing food blogs out in the Internet so i am sure i can find something that my stomach would love to get filled with today!

One of my fav food quotes is: "I don't live to eat, I eat to live." It's true. And i find it matters a lot what i actually eat. I love healthy rich food. Different tastes, with a great seasoning. This is one of my feak points. I am sooo bad at seasoning. The food is either too salty or has no taste at all. But i am trying better. Actually i feel i am a lot better at seasoning already. I am growing in the kitchen!

my world

Jay went to Finland last night and o'boy how much I miss him. But the good thing is that I can go to Finland on Friday. I was planning to go with the last ship, but since my exam time changed, I can go at 2pm already :) Yay! I really want to be with my boy!

So, I had an exam today which was okay. And tomorrow I'm going to skiing. And after that I gotta clean the apartment and pack my bag. On Friday after the exam I'll come home, eat, take my bag and off I am to the ship harbour to go to Finland where my Prince is waiting for me. And I am going for 2 weeks. How awesome!

Good news. I got two really good books by Nicholas Sparks (I havent read the books yet, but I know these are really good coz all his books are!). These are called "The best of me" and "Safe heaven". Jay bought them to me yesterday :) I'll take these with me when I go to Finland. So, when Jay is working I can read!!!:D I really need to rest and not think about school. Because in February will start a super busy time! I am excited and anxious about it, but at the same time I can't wait till it's over. I just hope I'll enjoy it a lot! :)

Oeh, i think I'll study for Friday's exam a bit, have a cup of tea and a sandwich and watch tv!

home with Jay

It's so good to be at home with Jay. We were just at home on Friday and on Saturday we went to Janar's birthday. We slept over in Kohila and next morning we went to my greatgrandmother's birthday, she turned 89 :) It's Monday today and Jay is going to Finland tonight :(

And tomorrow i must start studying for Wednesday's exam. It'll be boring day. I really can't wait till exams are over. I don't know yet if i am going to Finland on Friday night or Saturday morning.

It started snowing on Friday night. So beautiful! I really love it. And it's a bit colder too, about -10 degrees.

Me and Jay watched movie "Poseidon" last night, we are ice-cream and watched tv. It was so nice! :) I am going to miss him when he goes to Finland, but I'll survive :) He's the best!

Oh, i finally got the book i won through facebook. I started reading it last night, i so love it!!!!!:)

I really like how good everything is. I truly hope it's going to be very very great year! :)

O'boy i want it!!!!!!

on my way back

I am on the ship back to Estonia with Jay. I just ate the whole pack of Kit Kat pop chocs and you can imagine how much i need something to drink now. A juice or a water would be veryyy nice! Anyway, i cant wait till my exams are over!!! Jay is going back to Finland on Monday and then I'll go there on 13th night or he's coming home. It's our little anniversary on 13th - 1 year and 5 months. Jay told me that this time we'll celebrate it a bit, but now i don't know anymore coz we can't even be together. Only at night. Sure, we can celebarte it the next day, but who knows. First i really thought it's going to be fun and special day, but now he has to work and we can't even be together :( But I still hope everything turns out great and it'll be a very very memoriable day!

It's super good to get home and be there with the love of my life!!!!!!!!!! Love him sooo much!

here, here

I am still in Finland. We are going back to Estonia tomorrow morning. It'll be so good to sleep in our own bed!

I can't wait till the exams are over. I actually haven't been studying much. I just don't have the motivation or will to do it. But I try to study a bit after this blog entry.

I am absolutely enjoying my time here with Jay. He's so good and I love spending time with him!!!! He makes me really happy! :)

In Finland

Hey yay! I am in Finland with Jay. I thought, why not?! It doesnt matter if i study for my exams in Estonia or in Finland. Maybe only difference is that in Finland i have one big distraction - Jay. But since he works are nights, he sleeps a lot at day time. So, i study while he's sleeping ;) He came to Helsinki to pick me up yesterday. It was soooo good to see him (tho we hadnt seen only for about 17 hours). But I still missed him like crazy! We came to Hyvinkää and we talked and gosh, i love him so much! He was the sweetest today morning. I am so very happy! I know life have ups and downs. And i know right now is a hugeee UP and that's why i want to write about it. Because when a down-day comes, i remember that there are up-days too!!!:) Jay makes my days sooo wonderful!

bye 2011, hello 2012

It is a new year. 2012. So weird. I really wanted New Years Eve to be fun and just good. And it was. But the beginning of year 2012 wasn't the best. Not going to write about it because it doesn't matter anymore. It's 1st January 2012 so everything can change. We can change the way we act, the way we think and the way we are. It can only get better! I am going to read my last year wishes and I'll write new ones today. I know my family and Jay are always on my wishes and in my heart! Jay went to work today evening. Back to Finland. I am going there tomorrow early morning too because I just miss him soooo bad. And it'll do good for us, to be together :) I really hope this new year will make our relationship even more stronger and it'll make us even more closer (if that's even possible!). I truly love him. I gave him my heart and now he owns it!

I wish for a wonderful new year!