Saturday, May 5, 2012


I know that recently my blogs have been all about Jay. How I miss him, or what we have been doing and so on. But it doesn't mean I don't do anything else than miss him. He's so important to me. He's my life. So, whenever I come to write here I realize I end up mentioning how much I love him or miss him. But it's all true. So, who cares, right?? I blog for myself.

I went to have a massage yesterday. I wasn't totally happy about it coz the masseuse was a man. I know it's his job to touch whoever is laying there, but oh, I felt so weird, so uncomfortable. Jay is only man who can touch me. So, Jay told me that next time we'll make sure if the masseuse is a woman! :) And he told he's going to massage me when he comes home! How cute! I will enjoy that a lot!!!!!:)

Since May Running Day is getting closer I have been going for a little jog every day. It actually feels so good to run. After I finish I always feel like I have done somethin g big although the distance weren't so long at all. Lol. But it still feels great! I plan on going tomorrow too, if it isn't raining!

Yesterday I was a very productive. I cleaned the whole apartment, did some schoolwork, put clothes on the washing mashine and took them out:D LOL.
Today I tried to study for Tuesday's test, but ohh I got so bored!
Then I watched TV! Kate plus eight, Sister wives and What not to wear. All were on Diva Universal channel. They were really good ones. I especially liked Sister wives coz it was totally new for me. It was about polygyny - a man has more than one wife. It was pretty interesting. A man had 4 wives and they all had children. They all lived together and had a normal life. They told about their believes and how they were raised in such family type. I was thinking how the wives could possible like how their husband loves them all equally and shares bed with them all. I would never ever like that. I want my fiancee only for MYSELF! I would never share him with anybody!
But that doesn't mean I dont accept polygyny. If they like their life and they are happy with their situation then it's good :)

Well, tomorrow's Sunday. I don't know what I am going to do. I'll probably study for the test a bit, watch more TV, go for a run and made something good for dinner. Dinner alone is so ugh! Lonely! But I am glad I can talk to Jay every day on skype. Usually more than once. I love that! :)

Today I started thinking if 19 year olds should be more grown up and more independent and have more resbonsibility?! Or is it just me thinking it. Well, when I was 19 y.o I graduated high school. I felt so independent. I had saved my money, I did everything I wanted, I did everything to not to depend on my parents. Even though I lived with them I felt I was on my own. Because I was 19 y.o. I couldnt be like a little kid who asks everything from their parents and depends on them. It felt wrong. But was it only me? Are all other 19 year olds still like 12 year olds? Being irresponsible and they depend on everybody else?? Well, not only 19 years old. Also 20 years old and some even older??!! I wouldn't like it. It definitely depends on the parents and how they have been raised. I am really glad that my parents taught me what is wrong and what is right, how to be dependent when it's needed and how to achive the best it's possible. We all have our dreams. And we all should know that they don't come true if we dont work for them. we may fail on the way, but we still have to fight for them. I am always giving my best to move closer to my goals.

Days are passing by so slowly when Jay is in Finland. I am counting the days! 10 more days! I need him here!!!!

Okay, it's 11pm and I am getting tired...and hungry. Gotta wait till the morning comes. I'm going to have porridge for breakfast.



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