memories

Three years ago tonight at the same time i was talking to my best friend Clara. She was my true best friend. One of a kind. Unique. Although she was sick i believed she'd get well. I prayed for it. She thought me to believe and have a faith. And i did.
I remember that night so well. We were talking on msn..about everything. We had so many plans for the future. Her mom said that if she gets well she can come to visit me. Gosh, we were both so excited. It was all i wanted, to spend time with my best friend!!!
We talked for soo long..i remember being so happy. She always made me smile(: I've never been happier than i was back then.
Finally, it was soo late already and she went to bed. But i decided to stay up longer to finish a photo i was making for her. I posted it to her myspace comment box and went to bed too.
In bed i thanked god for giving me so amazing friend. And i asked him to heal my best friend so we could be besties forever. I couldn't imagine my life without her. And so she just had to get well and live a long beautiful and happy life. But it wasnt her destiny :(

Next morning i was still veryy happy. I went to foodshop with my mom, bought my fav ice-cream and was so excited to get back home to go to msn and talk to Clara.
When i logged online she just came online too. I started talking, but came out it was Clara's friend. I thought Clara was somewhere near and asked how she was.. Then she told me the sad news. She passed away on 19th June, around 11am. I was in shock. So that was it?! In one moment she was here, and the second she was gone? Forever?!
Actually before i was told the bad news, this girl just wrote: OMG. And when i saw that i knew. She hadnt told that Clara was dead..but i knew what was coming.. And when i read that "omg" soo many memories flashed trhough my mind.. like in a movie...only it was real this time. All our memories came to my mind..and then i saw a life without her..and all i was thinking was: no, she can't be dead, she cant be gone forever.. And i wished the news was that she went to the hospital, she's feeling worse or whatever..but not the very end- death.
But sadly it was exactly was i thought. She had passed away. I just looked at screen and cried..
I went to the myspace and saw a comment from Clara. She had posted it on 19th June morning.. It was her last message for me... The sweetest words everybody has ever told me. I'll never forget that!
When Sharon came to msn she told that Clara was on msn in early morning. She asked her to tell me that she'll always love me.
So, Clara knew it's gonna happen. She went back to bed coz she had stomach hurts and then she died.

Im not stuck in past. But once in a while i like to think about everything that happened. It wont make me as sad as it was back then. Clara's wish was me to stay happy. She even wrote a poem "Smile, Sandy"(: And that's exactly what im doing! =)

But I'm missing her every single day.
Although time passes by, memories wont fade away. And im glad they dont. I think of her and think of the time we had together. As i said she was my very best friend. She taught me what a real friendship is. I'll never forget her.

<3